Ah, the joys. Ach, the agonies! I find myself struggling yet again with the age-old tasks of parenting as I try to let my soon-to-be adult children make their own decisions. Amy, nearly 19 and back from her freshman year at Sarah Lawrence College, is working this summer and has decided to take a year off from college to travel, work, and study in India.I have my personal doubts about the wisdom
of all of that. My son Michael, age 25, is at home putting the finishing touches on his master's thesis for his degree in International Relations from the London School of Economics. He wants to move forward with plans to pursue a PhD in MidEast Studies. An interesting topic you say, but will it put food on the table? Time will tell. Another opportunity for me to let go.

My parenting challenges are up for me this month; perhaps they are for you and your family in one way or another, too. At times like these, I consistently find meaning in reviewing the principles of character-based education and character-based parenting taught at Hyde School in Bath, Maine, where my son attended prep/boarding school. The parenting principles have recently been codified in a new book by former Hyde Headmaster Malcolm Gauld and his wife, Laura, titled, The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have. Within the book are their 10 principles of character-based parenting. Those ten principles include:

1. Truth over Harmony
2. Principles over Rules
3. Attitude over Aptitude
4. Set High Expectations and Let Go of Outcomes
5. Value Success and Failure
6. Allow Obstacles to Become Opportunities
7. Taking Hold and Letting Go
8. Create a Character Culture
9. Humility to Ask for and Accept Help
10. Inspiration: Job #1

Descriptions of each of the 10 principles and how you can apply them to your parenting can be found at this Web link: www.biggestjob.org/ten.htm

I suggest you check it out and use this wisdom in your own families. Hint: These rules are also equally valid for parenting yourself!

All the best,